past pending.

It's impossible to run away from the past, I've decided. You can change skylines and your way of living completely and still be haunted by the past on a daily basis; on an hourly basis, for that matter. I recently changed my life almost entirely. I moved back home, leaving behind my friends, roommates and other relationships. I left behind the life I was accustomed to and fond of.

I jumped ships. Now on this new vessel, I can't help but think about my old shipmates and miss the comfortable, familiar cabin I used to call home.

Changing all those things just made the past more present. I am unable to allow myself to enjoy this transition because running from the situation was not the answer. I tried to escape the emotions and issues, I believed the absence would help me forget.

But I have done the opposite of forget.

I think about it constantly, replaying the past and creating the future in my head.

This move was pointless, but necessary.

I keep hearing a voice telling me the all annoying "everything happens for a reason." And it's true.

So now what? I made the move, so I have to make the transition internally as well. I will never forget my life in Gainesville and all my experiences, but it's time to move on. Time to let go. Time to grow up.

I had overstayed my welcome.

.

On a similar, yet side, note of pasts lingering, I went to the library in my hometown trying to entertain/distract myself. I signed up for a library card, thinking I wasn't on file, only to find out that I already had an account and fines to go with it. The teenager Marcella was reminding the present Marcella she existed.