chloe's therapy training: day one.

if you know me, you probably know my dog, chloe. all owner bias aside, chloe is one of the sweetest, most loving dogs i've ever been around. when i take her on walks passerby's can't help but smile. i've even been stopped on the street for photo opps and so on.

so after many years of thinking about it, i finally found a therapy dog organization in brooklyn and enrolled. with just 5 minutes into the evaluation, we got accelerated in the training program, skipping the first session and entering the second.

tuesday night we had our first class. 

i must say, lil chlo isn't the only one being challenged here. we arrived 5 minutes late to a full, already settled in class of all kinds of brooklynites. big dogs, little dogs, hyper dogs, sleepy dogs, old owners, young owners, weirdo owners. 

the set up was much like what i assume AA meetings are like. we had a seasoned volunteer open the class sharing her experiences and learnings, followed by introductions of all the classmates. 

one thing this class made me realize is this. we get so caught up in our comfortable day-to-day environments, that being surrounded but different kinds of people is both exciting and nerve inducing. for the first time in a while i felt shy and reserved. next week i'll go in refreshed and ready to be part of a bigger community than my usual 20-somethings and industry folk.

side note: it really is difficult to teach an old dog new tricks. let's hope chloe still has it in her.

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signs of summer.

pick it up, don't stop.

here we go again. time to pick up the digital pen and put it to digital paper. 

after being in new york for over three years, i feel it has drained me of creativity. or maybe it's the full time job. or the routine. or the desensitization of exciting things. whatever it is, i need to trump it. lame jane no longer. but what is it that sparks within me? what's my next venture?

as millennials (i know, i know...that title for a generation sucks) we're the sons and daughters of a generation where work meant making a living.not many of our parents weren't in love with their labor. if you were as lucky as i was, they raised us with the constant reminder to strive for more than that and be all that we could be. in college i was struggling to figure out what this grand, impressive success would be and landed on things that i'm not so passionate about in my more adult years. 

but why do we have to have one grand thing that we pursue and ultimately obtain? why can't we have multiple aspirations or phased ones?

so i've gone back to the drawing board. we shall see what's next.

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precipitation appreciation.

there's something severely therapeutic about rainy days. maybe it's how it slows down such a fast-paced city. or that it washes away some of the grind. or that it's just quieter all in all. whatever it is, i don't mind having to wear a hat and coat to protect myself. or not being able to walk around endlessly. it pleases me.

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ma

g train @nassau

summer 2011.

brooklyn, ny.

new new yorker.

changing skylines.

I must say, when I first moved back home it was rough. I was broken, bruised and doing something I never thought I'd do; move back home. I returned to the comfort I had worked so hard to live without.

I was really down during my first weeks here. Trying to be happy with the change and embrace it in a positive way. But still, I would cry all the time. Terribly unhappy. Then I began to just take it for what it was. Sure, it felt like a step back in life. I moved back home, got a job at Starbucks. The only thing I had to show (not that I don't love working at Starbucks) was my internship. So I accepted it. Made it my life and enjoyed it as much as I could. I was reunited with so much love from people who genuinely care about me.

It revived me.

I feel refreshed and ready to move on. I've been bandaged and I'm back on my feet.

Now to move on.

New York: June 16, 2010.

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my-amah.

some photos i've taken since my return to miami.

enjoy!

:)

ground play.

past pending.

It's impossible to run away from the past, I've decided. You can change skylines and your way of living completely and still be haunted by the past on a daily basis; on an hourly basis, for that matter. I recently changed my life almost entirely. I moved back home, leaving behind my friends, roommates and other relationships. I left behind the life I was accustomed to and fond of.

I jumped ships. Now on this new vessel, I can't help but think about my old shipmates and miss the comfortable, familiar cabin I used to call home.

Changing all those things just made the past more present. I am unable to allow myself to enjoy this transition because running from the situation was not the answer. I tried to escape the emotions and issues, I believed the absence would help me forget.

But I have done the opposite of forget.

I think about it constantly, replaying the past and creating the future in my head.

This move was pointless, but necessary.

I keep hearing a voice telling me the all annoying "everything happens for a reason." And it's true.

So now what? I made the move, so I have to make the transition internally as well. I will never forget my life in Gainesville and all my experiences, but it's time to move on. Time to let go. Time to grow up.

I had overstayed my welcome.

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On a similar, yet side, note of pasts lingering, I went to the library in my hometown trying to entertain/distract myself. I signed up for a library card, thinking I wasn't on file, only to find out that I already had an account and fines to go with it. The teenager Marcella was reminding the present Marcella she existed.