what's for lunch

As a kid, I played with stuffed animals often. Naming them all and barely having room to sleep on my bed because I felt bad making them sleep on the floor, I had a strong emotional attachment to my various chicks and bears. I have had many pets as well, real live ones. Since birth I've had 3 dogs, 1 bird, 2 turtles, 2 hamsters, 5 cats, 2 chickens, 1 iguana and about 20 fish total. I loved each and every one of these pets and was always devastated when they passed (except maybe some of the fish, although they all still got proper burials).

Growing older, I've realized how hypocritical this makes me. I have intense feelings of love towards these "inhuman" creatures, yet I have no problem eating other "inhuman" creatures on a daily basis. Looking at my dog this morning as she was eating her breakfast, I thought to myself, "What makes it wrong to eat her, yet it is perfectly ok to eat another kind of animal?" I don't know how to answer this and disturbed by the thought, I couldn't finish my bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

Being in college now for 4 years, I've been exposed to the possibility of changing my lifestyle into one free of eating food that once resembled Mr. Cluckers, and yet I can't help but continue my ways of being a carnivore. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy vegetarian options and often times go days without touching meat. I've even tried out the vegetarian lifestyle for about a solid month, but when I returned home to my Cuban family, not eating meat was not only weird, but an insult.

So I'm back to the beginning, feeling guilty eating arroz con pollo while staring at my two pet chicks. I don't know why my mind does not connect how sick that is. Maybe it's because it's been so normal my whole life. Maybe it's because subconsciously I'm too lazy to willingly change my lifestyle. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me at the moment.

So for the time being I'll do what I can to be a nice carnivore by eating free range and organic meats and buying cookbooks with delicious vegetarian recipes. Whether I'll ever switch over, I don't know, but until then I'll keep thinking about eating my dog and hope that grosses me out enough to eventually join them on the other side.

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